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#16

HEART AND DEAD



I saw you hanging
on one of the thick 
branches of your 
favorite tree, wearing 
your yesterday's clothes 
when we went out to 
eat our usual burgers
and ice cream



I saw how your body
turned white and your
black-stained lips
remained open like you
were trying so hard
to catch your breath



I don't want to think
you changed your mind
in the middle of
doing what you've
always done and
I don't want to know 
the reason behind 
your quick hesitation



I won't applaud you
for the act you pulled
But I'd be lying if I
said you're not as
beautiful as you were
yesterday



the tight marks
around your neck,
swollen small wrists,
your delicate skin that
once felt so smooth and
now as hard as marble
against my palm; 
these things only 
added how awfully 
aesthetic you can be



I feel sick for admiring
your beautiful corpse; 
for the fire in my heart 
still burns intensely 
because of you



I feel pathetic for feeling 
this even though you're 
dead, it didn't make much
difference when you were
still warm and your blood
were still rushing through
your veins; making 
your cheeks flushed 
as red as your lips 



Don't make me want
to chase you even in
hell, because you 
once told me that even 
though we are the
last ones on this
pathetic planet, you'd
still not love me back



But I'm the worst scum ever
You know I'd still find other
ways just to be near you
even on the farthest edge
of the universe, 'til 
we're stick and bones.


ー侘寂.

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#64

‘Tigal’ Gigising ng maaga para panoorin ang panibagong araw na magsimula. Walang iniintindi kundi ang mga hubog ng ulap at sarili ko lang. Ang payapa na dito ko lang nakukuha, hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit kailanman. Dahil dito lang nararamdaman na ako lang ang nag-iisa. Ngunit sa isa pang ikot ng langit ay muling mawawala ang liwanag. Babalik na lamang sa munting silid. Titiisin ang dilim pati ang lamig nitong dala. Hanggang sa mangibabaw na ang takot at pagsisisi. Sa tahimik na kwarto ay may tumatakas na impit, at may hindi nakikitang mga kasama. Hahayaan nalang munang magpakalunod at habulin ang hininga. Bago bumangon at pagmasdan ulit ang panibagong araw na magsimula. ー侘寂.
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#5

Haze Your name is fading away, After which I've been chasing until I lose sight of it. I'm stuck in the loop, I can't seem to get away. I'll just wait for things to get warped on its own. Even when we can't fulfill each other,  Even when we can't hold each other,  Even when we are hurt... It's now only between us. When it comes to love, How would you call it?  How would I call it? It's already fine that we can't tell. When it comes to love, lest it is sad anyway. Yet when it comes to love, it is endless. I wish that I remained by your side.  ー侘寂。
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#35

Kinalimutang Yugto Humihingi ako ng paumanhin sa mga iniwan ko'ng bakas,  pati sa mga bagay na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng ating wakas. Hindi naging maganda ang mga nangyari bago tuldukan ang pinagsamahan,  nanlalamig at nanginginig na inabot sa'yo ang aking kamay upang maayos na magpaalam. Patuloy na umaalingawngaw sa tainga ang lumipas na panahon, ilang puno na rin ang nagsilagas at matiyagang sumibol nang walang oras na sinusunod. Kumportable tayong nakaupo noon sa ilalim ng kadiliman,  natitiis ang malamig na Nobyembre dahil sa kwentuhang umaabot sa sukdulan.  Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na hindi naging mabait sa atin ang naturinang tadhana,  unti-unting tinutunaw ng oras ang munting alaala na ikaw ang nilalaman. Ngayon ay malabo na sa'kin ang nangyari nitong nagdaan,  ngunit sariwa pa rin ang matinding panghihinayang. Palaging hirap makahinga,  mga mata ko'y mariin na nakapikit. May nakapatong na malaking bato sa'king dibdib, at para ba'ng may mga nakatus...
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