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#16

HEART AND DEAD



I saw you hanging
on one of the thick 
branches of your 
favorite tree, wearing 
your yesterday's clothes 
when we went out to 
eat our usual burgers
and ice cream



I saw how your body
turned white and your
black-stained lips
remained open like you
were trying so hard
to catch your breath



I don't want to think
you changed your mind
in the middle of
doing what you've
always done and
I don't want to know 
the reason behind 
your quick hesitation



I won't applaud you
for the act you pulled
But I'd be lying if I
said you're not as
beautiful as you were
yesterday



the tight marks
around your neck,
swollen small wrists,
your delicate skin that
once felt so smooth and
now as hard as marble
against my palm; 
these things only 
added how awfully 
aesthetic you can be



I feel sick for admiring
your beautiful corpse; 
for the fire in my heart 
still burns intensely 
because of you



I feel pathetic for feeling 
this even though you're 
dead, it didn't make much
difference when you were
still warm and your blood
were still rushing through
your veins; making 
your cheeks flushed 
as red as your lips 



Don't make me want
to chase you even in
hell, because you 
once told me that even 
though we are the
last ones on this
pathetic planet, you'd
still not love me back



But I'm the worst scum ever
You know I'd still find other
ways just to be near you
even on the farthest edge
of the universe, 'til 
we're stick and bones.


ー侘寂.

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#29

  Drug Antagonism The candles we lit up are slowly burning out. The days for us are nearing its end. An unstoppable train came fast approaching, with unsteady breaks that made us wonder where we might end up crashing.  One thing is certain. We'll end up in different places. Different path. Different world. Different lives.  And this is the last time that we'll ever get to see our faces.  The bitter-sweet moments we shared would feel like a dream. We'd eventually forget our promises, secrets, and committed sins.  Everything about us would sink deeper into our subconsciousness, locked away in our memories. Prevent it from ever emerging to keep us away from our conflicts. We've done enough. Finally, we will be on our way as if nothing happened. And that's how it should be. It's better this way. Always been.  ー侘寂.
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#35

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#64

‘Tigal’ Gigising ng maaga para panoorin ang panibagong araw na magsimula. Walang iniintindi kundi ang mga hubog ng ulap at sarili ko lang. Ang payapa na dito ko lang nakukuha, hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit kailanman. Dahil dito lang nararamdaman na ako lang ang nag-iisa. Ngunit sa isa pang ikot ng langit ay muling mawawala ang liwanag. Babalik na lamang sa munting silid. Titiisin ang dilim pati ang lamig nitong dala. Hanggang sa mangibabaw na ang takot at pagsisisi. Sa tahimik na kwarto ay may tumatakas na impit, at may hindi nakikitang mga kasama. Hahayaan nalang munang magpakalunod at habulin ang hininga. Bago bumangon at pagmasdan ulit ang panibagong araw na magsimula. ー侘寂.
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