#16

HEART AND DEAD

I saw you hanging

on one of the thick 

branches of your 

favorite tree, wearing 

your yesterday's clothes 

when we went out to 

eat our usual burgers

and ice cream

I saw how your body

turned white and your

black-stained lips

remained open like you

were trying so hard

to catch your breath

I don't want to think

you changed your mind

in the middle of

doing what you've

always done and

I don't want to know 

the reason behind 

your quick hesitation

I won't applaud you

for the act you pulled

But I'd be lying if I

said you're not as

beautiful as you were

yesterday

the tight marks

around your neck,

swollen small wrists,

your delicate skin that

once felt so smooth and

now as hard as marble

against my palm; 

these things only 

added how awfully 

aesthetic you can be

I feel sick for admiring

your beautiful corpse; 

for the fire in my heart 

still burns intensely 

because of you

I feel pathetic for feeling 

this even though you're 

dead, it didn't make much

difference when you were

still warm and your blood

were still rushing through

your veins; making 

your cheeks flushed 

as red as your lips 

Don't make me want

to chase you even in

hell, because you 

once told me that even 

though we are the

last ones on this

pathetic planet, you'd

still not love me back

But I'm the worst scum ever

You know I'd still find other

ways just to be near you

even on the farthest edge

of the universe, 'til 

we're stick and bones.

ー侘寂.