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#16

HEART AND DEAD



I saw you hanging
on one of the thick 
branches of your 
favorite tree, wearing 
your yesterday's clothes 
when we went out to 
eat our usual burgers
and ice cream



I saw how your body
turned white and your
black-stained lips
remained open like you
were trying so hard
to catch your breath



I don't want to think
you changed your mind
in the middle of
doing what you've
always done and
I don't want to know 
the reason behind 
your quick hesitation



I won't applaud you
for the act you pulled
But I'd be lying if I
said you're not as
beautiful as you were
yesterday



the tight marks
around your neck,
swollen small wrists,
your delicate skin that
once felt so smooth and
now as hard as marble
against my palm; 
these things only 
added how awfully 
aesthetic you can be



I feel sick for admiring
your beautiful corpse; 
for the fire in my heart 
still burns intensely 
because of you



I feel pathetic for feeling 
this even though you're 
dead, it didn't make much
difference when you were
still warm and your blood
were still rushing through
your veins; making 
your cheeks flushed 
as red as your lips 



Don't make me want
to chase you even in
hell, because you 
once told me that even 
though we are the
last ones on this
pathetic planet, you'd
still not love me back



But I'm the worst scum ever
You know I'd still find other
ways just to be near you
even on the farthest edge
of the universe, 'til 
we're stick and bones.


ー侘寂.

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#61

'consistently inconsistent' Tired of running and chasing While facing the doors that were heavily locked  Which is believed to contain endless joy and peace inside of it I don't know when I could catch it up Those were still miles and miles away from my reach So when I sat down, I quietly told myself that, 'You need a strong heart to easily get back on track after a short rest.' I regret that I took advantage of the belief which often happens in films That no matter what hardship takes place, it will always have a happy ending When I realized all that was just made up I can't help but laugh especially at things  That requires effort and struggle Because deep down, I knew I was still weak I know I still can’t do anything in the end I'm shameless to even whine about everything Without even giving my all when I'm trying. ー侘寂.

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