#49

 A Truce with Life and Death

I should have known better

To seek out death won't solve it all

Perhaps it's the most cowardly thing to do

But what can I do when everyone else was so far away

All this time I stayed ignorant

Because that's how I endured all of their lies

Sadness, loneliness, anger---these emotions are the only ones I am familiar with

But I shouldn't have fell victim to it

What good does it make anyway?

To settle with a dead heart has always been an easy way to escape

Am I really satisfied with just giving it all up

Without even knowing what the sun and trees, the ocean, and seas look like? 

A resolve started to slowly build up in my heart

I can feel the air filling up my lungs

I think this is the first time I can finally breathe

It almost felt like I returned from the brink of death 

I should have done this from the beginning

I should have wished for strength and not my demise

I just grew tired of being angry all the time

From now on I won't run away and look ahead with time as my ally. 

ー侘寂.