Lumaktaw sa pangunahing content

#51

 two bodies, one heart, and a half-hearted


I'm a miserable, pathetic, and indecisive human being.

In the hopes of concealing that reality, I tried a lot of things so all my mistakes could be forgotten.


And I had no idea I'd find consolation in sex, which I chose out of desperation.

I met this guy. Tall, average build, pale skin, looks like someone who can be easily fooled because of his kind face and kind personality.

He is someone I didn't see coming nor expect to involve himself with me.

He's like a gentle breeze that enters through my window in the summer heat.


That's why I've been running away from him, scared that I might taint him.

But I can't distance myself from him. So, I've been running in circles.


While I'm dreading to know how he feels about me, I can't get his flushed ears and shaky breath out of my mind.

My senses have become strangely intensified as I listen to his loud heartbeat and us kissing. I thought I wanna hear more of it.

He doesn't hesitate to lick the dirty traces left on my body. It feels like I'm being cleansed with each stroke of his tongue against my skin and all I could do is moan his name. I felt saved by him.


The smell of sweat, nectar, and vodka. Unexpected affection. Lingering regrets.

I cannot afford to let myself drown in these feelings.

But regardless of what's on my mind, he easily blurs out everything.


I admit I feel a sense of relief that he is the one who consoled me.

I can't help but be honest with myself that I've fallen for him.

Maybe all this time, all I need is to share warmth with another lonely person.

That way, I can convince myself that I'm still human.. that I'm still acceptable.. and that I still have a purpose in this world.

 To share warmth. 

ー侘寂.

Mga Komento

Mag-post ng isang Komento

Mga sikat na post sa blog na ito

#29

  Drug Antagonism The candles we lit up are slowly burning out. The days for us are nearing its end. An unstoppable train came fast approaching, with unsteady breaks that made us wonder where we might end up crashing.  One thing is certain. We'll end up in different places. Different path. Different world. Different lives.  And this is the last time that we'll ever get to see our faces.  The bitter-sweet moments we shared would feel like a dream. We'd eventually forget our promises, secrets, and committed sins.  Everything about us would sink deeper into our subconsciousness, locked away in our memories. Prevent it from ever emerging to keep us away from our conflicts. We've done enough. Finally, we will be on our way as if nothing happened. And that's how it should be. It's better this way. Always been.  ー侘寂.
Mag-post ng isang Komento
Magbasa nang higit pa

#35

Kinalimutang Yugto Humihingi ako ng paumanhin sa mga iniwan ko'ng bakas,  pati sa mga bagay na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng ating wakas. Hindi naging maganda ang mga nangyari bago tuldukan ang pinagsamahan,  nanlalamig at nanginginig na inabot sa'yo ang aking kamay upang maayos na magpaalam. Patuloy na umaalingawngaw sa tainga ang lumipas na panahon, ilang puno na rin ang nagsilagas at matiyagang sumibol nang walang oras na sinusunod. Kumportable tayong nakaupo noon sa ilalim ng kadiliman,  natitiis ang malamig na Nobyembre dahil sa kwentuhang umaabot sa sukdulan.  Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na hindi naging mabait sa atin ang naturinang tadhana,  unti-unting tinutunaw ng oras ang munting alaala na ikaw ang nilalaman. Ngayon ay malabo na sa'kin ang nangyari nitong nagdaan,  ngunit sariwa pa rin ang matinding panghihinayang. Palaging hirap makahinga,  mga mata ko'y mariin na nakapikit. May nakapatong na malaking bato sa'king dibdib, at para ba'ng may mga nakatus...
Mag-post ng isang Komento
Magbasa nang higit pa

#64

‘Tigal’ Gigising ng maaga para panoorin ang panibagong araw na magsimula. Walang iniintindi kundi ang mga hubog ng ulap at sarili ko lang. Ang payapa na dito ko lang nakukuha, hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit kailanman. Dahil dito lang nararamdaman na ako lang ang nag-iisa. Ngunit sa isa pang ikot ng langit ay muling mawawala ang liwanag. Babalik na lamang sa munting silid. Titiisin ang dilim pati ang lamig nitong dala. Hanggang sa mangibabaw na ang takot at pagsisisi. Sa tahimik na kwarto ay may tumatakas na impit, at may hindi nakikitang mga kasama. Hahayaan nalang munang magpakalunod at habulin ang hininga. Bago bumangon at pagmasdan ulit ang panibagong araw na magsimula. ー侘寂.
Mag-post ng isang Komento
Magbasa nang higit pa