Lumaktaw sa pangunahing content

#51

 two bodies, one heart, and a half-hearted


I'm a miserable, pathetic, and indecisive human being.

In the hopes of concealing that reality, I tried a lot of things so all my mistakes could be forgotten.


And I had no idea I'd find consolation in sex, which I chose out of desperation.

I met this guy. Tall, average build, pale skin, looks like someone who can be easily fooled because of his kind face and kind personality.

He is someone I didn't see coming nor expect to involve himself with me.

He's like a gentle breeze that enters through my window in the summer heat.


That's why I've been running away from him, scared that I might taint him.

But I can't distance myself from him. So, I've been running in circles.


While I'm dreading to know how he feels about me, I can't get his flushed ears and shaky breath out of my mind.

My senses have become strangely intensified as I listen to his loud heartbeat and us kissing. I thought I wanna hear more of it.

He doesn't hesitate to lick the dirty traces left on my body. It feels like I'm being cleansed with each stroke of his tongue against my skin and all I could do is moan his name. I felt saved by him.


The smell of sweat, nectar, and vodka. Unexpected affection. Lingering regrets.

I cannot afford to let myself drown in these feelings.

But regardless of what's on my mind, he easily blurs out everything.


I admit I feel a sense of relief that he is the one who consoled me.

I can't help but be honest with myself that I've fallen for him.

Maybe all this time, all I need is to share warmth with another lonely person.

That way, I can convince myself that I'm still human.. that I'm still acceptable.. and that I still have a purpose in this world.

 To share warmth. 

ー侘寂.

Mga Komento

Mag-post ng isang Komento

Mga sikat na post sa blog na ito

#64

‘Tigal’ Gigising ng maaga para panoorin ang panibagong araw na magsimula. Walang iniintindi kundi ang mga hubog ng ulap at sarili ko lang. Ang payapa na dito ko lang nakukuha, hinding hindi ko ipagpapalit kailanman. Dahil dito lang nararamdaman na ako lang ang nag-iisa. Ngunit sa isa pang ikot ng langit ay muling mawawala ang liwanag. Babalik na lamang sa munting silid. Titiisin ang dilim pati ang lamig nitong dala. Hanggang sa mangibabaw na ang takot at pagsisisi. Sa tahimik na kwarto ay may tumatakas na impit, at may hindi nakikitang mga kasama. Hahayaan nalang munang magpakalunod at habulin ang hininga. Bago bumangon at pagmasdan ulit ang panibagong araw na magsimula. ー侘寂.
Mag-post ng isang Komento
Magbasa nang higit pa

#61

'consistently inconsistent' Tired of running and chasing While facing the doors that were heavily locked  Which is believed to contain endless joy and peace inside of it I don't know when I could catch it up Those were still miles and miles away from my reach So when I sat down, I quietly told myself that, 'You need a strong heart to easily get back on track after a short rest.' I regret that I took advantage of the belief which often happens in films That no matter what hardship takes place, it will always have a happy ending When I realized all that was just made up I can't help but laugh especially at things  That requires effort and struggle Because deep down, I knew I was still weak I know I still can’t do anything in the end I'm shameless to even whine about everything Without even giving my all when I'm trying. ー侘寂.
Mag-post ng isang Komento
Magbasa nang higit pa

#62

'puzzle' I've been searching for someone for a long time. Someone who is like a piece of a puzzle. Because I thought if there is a person who can fit perfectly without even a millimeter gap, Then won't that person fill in what I'm missing? I've always been searching for a piece, But the pieces of the perfectly fitting puzzle were scattered individuals from the start. And puzzle pieces that are jammed together, Those only become distorted and warped.  I wonder what it would feel like to be connected, Even with just the palm of their hand. But people are born without a perfect match, So to continue to become one with someone else and fill the gaps, They continue changing forms by coming together, melting away their imperfections. ー侘寂
1 komento
Magbasa nang higit pa