"skin & universe"
I opened my eyes and saw the gleam from outside trespassing the room
A few moments later, I finally pulled back my sanity inside
I started the day with the usual, boring routine
And it felt like watching the world begin again.
My life is always like this
I never even had the freedom to look at my surroundings
Even though I'm steadily walking the path towards death
Despite how close I am to it, I realized maybe I am still a child inside.
A child that can't do anything without anyone's permission
Who had nothing much to do and lived up to no expectations
Whose screams can't be heard because no one listens
So I just keep watching my life unfold until something happens.
It's kind of tiring, to be stupid and useless all the time
To be depending on other things like this
Tolerating meaningless bonds with people who clearly don't care about me
All of that just to survive as a living speck of nothing in this universe.
And as the stars looked like little holes in the sky
Peering from above, only to witness how the world does its job
There was me, who still haven't grasped the whole situation with a dumb-looking face
Questioning my worth and capabilities over and over, but I know I can't escape myself.
As we can't escape the same routine of this world, even in this universe, we strive to learn how to live in it.
And I think that's how we should also do with ourselves. To learn how to live in our skin.
That way, our surroundings, and even the outer space won't really matter.
Because all this time, the life we have isn't about them. It's about you and yourself.
ー侘寂.
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