#0

We all went to a phase where we took up the courage to confess our feelings to someone... the anxiety is there, you get cold sweat and shaky hands, your heart beats so fast you can hear it pulsating in your ears. 

You're overwhelmed because, after so many attempts, you're finally going to do it. 

You just felt the need to let your feelings reach that person, regardless of what the outcome is. Then after that, that's another story to tell.

That is similar to what I am doing and feeling right now. 

I've been writing for years. It started when I felt disconnected from society and I can't properly voice out my thoughts. I found it difficult to control, and hardly sorted it all. 

Until I finally got hold of those thoughts and began writing them down. It feels therapeutic, though I still need to learn more words and expand my vocabulary to properly describe what I want to deliver in my writing. I bought books with different genres and learned from them a lot.

I was serious about writing that I didn't think of it as a hobby. I was having fun. I felt so free. I thought it's the only thing I am proud of. New ideas kept popping into my head and I can't let those go to waste. I wrote a bunch. 

But I never revealed it to anyone. As the years passed by, a lot of things happened that greatly affect my passion for writing. Until it finally came to the point where I lost it. I was like an empty shell. Like a rusty-old car that ran out of gas. A puzzle that lost its missing piece. I left a lot of blank pages, unable to write furthermore. 

Now, I'm starting to change it. I've decided to bring it back, again. In the past years, I knew I didn't completely lose the passion because I still write from time to time but not like how I used to... nonetheless, I still call it progress. 

This is the first time I'm going to release what I've worked on for the past years here in this blog, and I'm feeling all anxious. Just like what we felt when we first confessed to someone we used to like. I'm finally gonna do it. 

Although I write only for myself, I still hope some of what I write here may somehow help yall in some ways.

ー詫寂。