exordiri

Hang Tight Nothing can make you feel more lonely, Than a family that doesn't want you. You came to realize how powerless you are. Helpless and useless, you want to rip everything in you. ー侘助。

One Step It only took a couple of words, From the mouth of the greatest traito r, For me to take the toughest decision, That will also be the last. I look up and heave a deep sigh, Slapped my cheeks and blinked my eyes, It only took me just one step, To let go of myself... ...and fly. ー侘寂。

Haze Your name is fading away, After which I've been chasing until I lose sight of it. I'm stuck in the loop, I can't seem to get away. I'll just wait for things to get warped on its own. Even when we can't fulfill each other,  Even when we can't hold each other,  Even when we are hurt... It's now only between us. When it comes to love, How would you call it?  How would I call it? It's already fine that we can't tell. When it comes to love, lest it is sad anyway. Yet when it comes to love, it is endless. I wish that I remained by your side.  ー侘寂。

trust. People usually ask, "How can I make a relationship last?" But they won't even ask themselves, "In this relationship, how long can I last?"  ー侘寂。

paalam. salamat. Tumingala ako sa langit at pinagmasdan kung paano kuminang ang mga bituin sa gitna ng malawakang dilim, napapalibutan ito ng samu't saring paputok na may iba't ibang kulay, laki, at hugis. Napakaganda nitong tignan. Humanga ako nang may isang kakaibang fireworks ang nagpinta sa kalangitan. Pakiramdam ko ay saglit akong bumalik sa pagkabata at tila nahuhumaling sa pinapanood.  Itinuon ko naman ang tingin sa harap, kasalukuyan akong nasa dagat ng mga taong mahihilig sa musika, nakakatuwang tignan na nagkakaisa ang lahat habang sabay-sabay na binibigkas ang lyrics ng sikat na kantang tinutugtog ngayon. Naghiyawan ang lahat nang biglang tumalon ang bokalista mula sa stage papunta sa mga taong nasa harapan. Tuloy pa rin sa pagtugtog ang ibang miyembro ng sikat na banda at nakikipagtagisan ng galing gamit ang kani-kaniyang instrumentong hawak. Nakakabingi ang ingay at namamanhid na ang parehong tainga ko. Ngunit himbis na pagtuunan ko pa ito ng pansin ay napapatalon ...

INCUBUS you whispered words that used to make me feel, but oddly enough now it means nothing to me. the walls kept moving, the space is getting smaller, unable to breathe; I stood still, all I could was do nothing at all. I covered my ears and screamed in fear, cowardly watched everything break and disappear. you were holding my hand, you kept talking to me dearly. you were holding my hand, not because you love holding it. but to put on the chains, and that's the end for me. the 'us' of the present is suffocating, smothered by the false love you gave me; and I hate myself for being so helpless unable to turn you down, still hoping you'll change. ー侘寂。

I('m) S(t)uck.  I don't even know where to start, All I know is I feel the pain Constantly throbbing in my chest. The uneasiness, the anxiety; I can't seem to focus at all. I want to do something, worthy at that. I never want to be influenced by others. But because I was ignorant and naive, I picked up things that should have been Ignored;  and it affects me greatly. I see myself as a glass half-filled with water,  Both empty and full. Someday, I wish to be somewhere not stuck in between. Where I'm confident to be in; and content. I hope to stop living a life doing things half-assed, But I still don't have a clue of what I want. ー侘寂。

We all went to a phase where we took up the courage to confess our feelings to someone... the anxiety is there, you get cold sweat and shaky hands, your heart beats so fast you can hear it pulsating in your ears.  You're overwhelmed because, after so many attempts, you're finally going to do it.  You just felt the need to let your feelings reach that person, regardless of what the outcome is. Then after that, that's another story to tell. That is similar to what I am doing and feeling right now.  I've been writing for years. It started when I felt disconnected from society and I can't properly voice out my thoughts. I found it difficult to control, and hardly sorted it all.  Until I finally got hold of those thoughts and began writing them down. It feels therapeutic, though I still need to learn more words and expand my vocabulary to properly describe what I want to deliver in my writing. I bought books with different genres and learned from them a lot. I was seriou...